I thought her question was cute so I smiled, then smirked, then the depth of her question hit me… I was totally puzzled. I remember asking myself, “How do I answer that;” “where do I begin?” It was a profound and deep question and one that even adults, Christian adults, wrestle with. Why does God allow sickness, diseases, poverty or even death? I pondered for a minute and came up with the perfect response, one that would satisfy her curiosity and make me Father of the Year. I replied with complete confidence — “Lyilah, God made ice cream, do you want some?” Just kidding…

This is not a commentary on why God allows such things in our world. I’m just not smart enough to answer those questions. However, what’s truly fascinating is how my daughter is thinking about God and how our conversations are shaping her Godview. At Cornerstone Family Church we are intentional in teaching our preschoolers about God. We teach three things: God Made Me, God Loves Me and Jesus Wants to be My Best Friend Forever. God is part of our daily conversation even at home. My wife and I share with our daughter in as many different ways as possible how she is wonderfully and perfectly made, how God loves her more than even her mommy and daddy and how Jesus really wants to be her friend, her best friend.

Parents do not underestimate the power of your role in shaping your children’s Godview. It is absolutely vital. It is necessary. God designed it so YOU are the primary spiritual influencer in your homes. Not the children’s pastor, not your pastor, YOU. Youth experts Kara Powell and Chap Clark in their recent book “Sticky Faith” notes that only 12 percent of moms and five percent of dads have regular conversations about faith with their children.  Keep the dialog consistent between home and church. And not just the dialog but also your actions, your attitudes and your way of living. Sometimes, well almost every time, your actions speak louder than words. Kara Powell and Chap Clark also collaborate this truth, “…it is who you are that shapes your kid” (21).  It is far more important what happens at home than what happens at church. And when the tough questions come, and they will, duck them like I did : ) …I’m kidding!!!  Discuss them, its okay to wrestle through some tough topics together.

As moms and dads we need to reduce the busyness, families are just way to busy, and we need to parent intentionally. Busyness competes for our time to influence, instill our values and shape our children’s worldview. Being intentional can be difficult but it must be a priority. We must spend time on their turf doing the things they enjoy. Teens may reject your attempts however as parents we need to be proactive and consistent.

Several weeks’ back I attempted to do just that, be intentional, and I was flat out rejected by my five year old. I told my daughter I was going to visit her in school and bring McDonalds to have lunch together. I was excited and smiling when I told her however she did not share my excitement. She started crying! When I asked her what was wrong she said and I quote, “I want to have lunch with my friends.” Blah! I was R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D!!!!

My daughter is only five and she already picked her friends over me. That feeling sucked! But believe me I was NOT going to give up.

For the next several weeks I would remind her in several different ways how much I valued spending time with her and enjoyed her company and how special it was for me to hang out with her. I didn’t just say it, I showed her. To my surprise my wife tells me that my daughter told her that I was going to have lunch with her at school. I scheduled the lunch date immediately.

We had an amazing time. We chatted; laughed and played with the toy she received with her happy meal… it was a blast. It was special. I got to eat a double cheeseburger Most importantly, it was a reminder that the most important lunch meeting I could ever have is the one with my daughter. We should never be so busy to intentionally invest in the lives of our children. Sadly, I was the only dad out there.

Check out this talk I gave at Cornerstone Family Church titled “Konnekt.” I share thoughts from Reggie Joiner’s ‘Parenting Beyond Your Capacity’ on the importance of konnekting with students and partnering with parents. Let me know your thoughts.

Whoa, did you see that? The letters on this page are moving …just kidding

I just reread the above paragraph and I have to admit is sounds a little creepy. Okay, real creepy, a grown man with an imaginary friend, yep there goes my creditability. However, what you did not know is that my five-year-old daughter had the privilege to introduce me to Froggy on our way to preschool one day. And well, we’ve been friends ever since.

See I decided to “increase the quantity of quality time” I spend with my daughter. Time is of the essences, its nothing but vapor, I will blink and she will be a teenager. I need to embrace every moment I get to invest in her life. Each day I have a 40 minute window of uninterrupted one on one time with my daughter as we drive to and from preschool, what better time to engage in a conversation. Even if it involves her, excuse me, our imaginary friend Froggy.

Those 40 minutes are truly precious to both of us. It is truly remarkable how engaging into the imaginary world of a preschooler adds value to our relationship. I allow her to steer the conversation yet it creates many opportunities for me to speak into her life. In the book “Parenting Beyond Your Capacity” Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof suggests creating an intentional rhythm in our families to impress our values and build the faith of our children. Carey notes, “These times give parents an opportunity to build a relationship through nonthreatening experiences. At some level the parent can actually function as a friend or companion and interpret life together with their children.”

Time in the car is a special bonding time for my daughter and I. We talk about her experience at school, how her day went, what she learned, we sing songs together and on almost every occasion I get the chance to influence her growing worldview. I call them God moments. And well, yeah, we even hang out with Froggy too and have a few laughs.

Call me crazy but maybe you can use an imaginary friend?

So here goes, my first rant of 2011: I got stuck in some containers while playing with my daughter, eh. A month ago I twisted my ankles shooting hoops with several of my student and well it still hurts, boo!! About a week ago I had the privilege to check out Chris August, Group 1 Crew and Toby Mac at a private concert for Youth Pastors. It was awesome and had a great time with my wife! Later that week our friends sent us a video where their four-year-old son declares his love for my five-year-old daughter. We have since ended that friendship. The other day I was stuck in traffic for over an hour, blah! Apparently a car caught on fire and the fire truck did too, no joke! I made it late to the doctor’s appointment. Oh and I have no AC in my hooptie so I walked into doc’s office looking like I just played several games of basketball. Talking about basketball, the Boston Celtics just swept the Knicks, boo-yah! LeBron, you couldn’t hold ‘em off in Cleveland doubt you can in Miami, Boston in 6. Orlando had no magic and lost to Atlanta, Atlanta? Can’t blame Howard if he wants to bounce—it was pathetic. People have been blown out of their homes in Alabama and the royal wedding is the number one trending topic, really? Well, that’s pathetic. What’s up with Donald Trump dropping F-Bombs? Presidential candidate? Nope! Well, after the last election, who knows? And why in the word has he jumped on the birther’s bandwagon? Are the ratings of his show that low? While I am not a fan of Obama he is an American Citizen dude, or is he? How in the word is Scotty McCreery still on American Idol yet Casey Abrams not to mention Pia Toscano voted off? I love Amazon’s new cloud player. It syncs lovely with my Android. Ahhhh yes Android… not only is it the number one mobile OS but it also happens to be preferred over the iPhone in the U.S mobile market. I think that deserves a booyah!

Enough of that, I promise the next post will be much more meaningful than this lazy cultural rant. Till then chau!

I play with dolls because my daughter loves playing with them. Parents, there is absolutely nothing more important than you spending TIME with your children. Not just “any” time but spending quality time doing what your children love doing most. Get into their world!

I’m convinced there is an epidemic of busyness in our culture and it’s infecting our families. The side effectives are devastating. Parents are raising children they don’t even know, if they are raising them at all. I would argue most kids are raising themselves.

As the full time student guy at Cornerstone Church, I see this time after time again. Read this carefully parents… no matter how much stuff, gadgets or toys you buy your children you could NEVER replace the priceless influence you will have on their lives. And that only comes by spending TIME with them. Love is spelled T-I-M-E.

I don’t wear pink; I don’t plunk my eyebrows however I do play with dolls – what a timeless experience with the world’s cutest 5 year old!

Check out this music video titled “Parent Me” by Christian Hip-Hop artist Json, he does a great job communicating this very point.

If you believe anything I just wrote, you are extremely gullible and we defintely need to hang cause we would have a blast! However, I do think this is a worthy discussion. How do we explain a cultural icon like Santa Clause to our children? How do we preserve the integrity of our faith, the scriptures and the honest relationships we have with our kids?  How do we do this without being a total killjoy or ruin a young and sprouting imagination?

From the beginning my wife and I decided to maintain the joyful and fun holiday spirit, encourage our daughter’s imagination yet include the historical reality and spiritual implication of the CHRISTmas story. So far I think it’s working, she hasn’t runaway or anything.  In fact she even bought me a gift.

Check out this article, “What we tell our kids about Santa” by Mark Driscoll. He does a far better job explaining all this than I do.

Merry CHRISTmas!!

Here is a devotional I recorded with our video guy Nic for our students at the Warehouse. It’s an encouragement for their “Faithwalk” inspired by Gal. 2:20. At the end of the video I bring out one of my hidden raps from years ago. I hope it encourages your walk.

Join us at the Warehouse on Sunday Nights at 5:30pm, visit for more info: www.familystuf.me

One of my students found this old video of me in the studio recording a song titled “Blackhole.”  Honestly its been years.  I have not thought much of my previous life but after watching this video I could not help but smile and reminisce a bit.  Enjoy, however you are not allowed to poke fun of me ever.

Well, here I go: I can’t believe the Texas Rangers beat up on my Yankees (disappointing — grrr); however I was extremely impressed with Josh Hamilton’s humbleness as he accepted the American League MVP and his testimony on iamsecond.com was that much more impressive; I was ecstatic that the Celtics took down the Heats; Android phones outsold the iPhone once again — ha!; ohhh, I’m pretty ticked that my high school ninth grade students are being indoctrinated with the homosexual agenda disguised as a social issue for equal marriage rights when grown adults are still wrestling with the very subject; and how can I not mention how the political landscape in the US has shifted, talk about a referendum on President Obama and his policies (I told you…, maybe I shouldn’t).

I am at awe how God is responding to our prayers at Cornerstone Church for our financial needs, totally marveled; Can’t believe the Yanks are about to overpay Jeter to keep him in pinstripes; Is it really November, whoa!; Students are now reaping the consequences of their parents decisions as students, pray they don’t make the same decisions; If my dog hits my midsection one more time, I swear I will loose my salvation; Dave Ramsey Live was pretty incredible, what a great communicator; “The gospel is both objective and subjective; historical and experiential” — Darrin Patrick, what a amazing quote; I think I’m hooked on a new show “The Walking Dead;” No matter what I do or say it seems like there are legions convincing my students otherwise, that sucks!; the truth is absolute — duh!; Why do I rant so randomly… welcome to my mind.

What are your random thoughts?