Does God Make Boo-boos?

On the ride home several months back my daughter tells me how she fell while running in the playground and got a boo-boo. She tells me how much it hurts. I was sympathetic and we continued our conversation. It was somewhat random, as you would expect a conversation with a five year old would be. Several minutes later I ask her to recite her memory verse: “God created the Heavens and the Earth” (Gen. 1:1). She did, then paused and asked if God makes boo-boos’?

I thought her question was cute so I smiled, then smirked, then the depth of her question hit me… I was totally puzzled. I remember asking myself, “How do I answer that;” “where do I begin?” It was a profound and deep question and one that even adults, Christian adults, wrestle with. Why does God allow sickness, diseases, poverty or even death? I pondered for a minute and came up with the perfect response, one that would satisfy her curiosity and make me Father of the Year. I replied with complete confidence — “Lyilah, God made ice cream, do you want some?” Just kidding…

This is not a commentary on why God allows such things in our world. I’m just not smart enough to answer those questions. However, what’s truly fascinating is how my daughter is thinking about God and how our conversations are shaping her Godview. At Cornerstone Family Church we are intentional in teaching our preschoolers about God. We teach three things: God Made Me, God Loves Me and Jesus Wants to be My Best Friend Forever. God is part of our daily conversation even at home. My wife and I share with our daughter in as many different ways as possible how she is wonderfully and perfectly made, how God loves her more than even her mommy and daddy and how Jesus really wants to be her friend, her best friend.

Parents do not underestimate the power of your role in shaping your children’s Godview. It is absolutely vital. It is necessary. God designed it so YOU are the primary spiritual influencer in your homes. Not the children’s pastor, not your pastor, YOU. Youth experts Kara Powell and Chap Clark in their recent book “Sticky Faith” notes that only 12 percent of moms and five percent of dads have regular conversations about faith with their children.  Keep the dialog consistent between home and church. And not just the dialog but also your actions, your attitudes and your way of living. Sometimes, well almost every time, your actions speak louder than words. Kara Powell and Chap Clark also collaborate this truth, “…it is who you are that shapes your kid” (21).  It is far more important what happens at home than what happens at church. And when the tough questions come, and they will, duck them like I did : ) …I’m kidding!!!  Discuss them, its okay to wrestle through some tough topics together.

Rejected by my Five Year Old

Parenting is tough. It is. And I’m the parent of just one five year old. Only one and she’s five. Yup, she’s a she… that makes it even tougher. I know she is only five however I work with students so I “know” (so I think) exactly what to expect when she’s 15. Oh, Goshhhhh! That’s only ten years away. Honestly I do NOT look forward to those teenage years. At five she runs to me and hugs me when I walk through the front door. I love that feeling! When she’s 15 she’ll be running away from me and into her bedroom … blah! Teens are just mean, angry, irritating, obnoxious, self-centered and those are the good ones. To be fair the teenage years are tough on students but they are just as tough on parents which make these earlier years that much more critical.

As moms and dads we need to reduce the busyness, families are just way to busy, and we need to parent intentionally. Busyness competes for our time to influence, instill our values and shape our children’s worldview. Being intentional can be difficult but it must be a priority. We must spend time on their turf doing the things they enjoy. Teens may reject your attempts however as parents we need to be proactive and consistent.

Several weeks’ back I attempted to do just that, be intentional, and I was flat out rejected by my five year old. I told my daughter I was going to visit her in school and bring McDonalds to have lunch together. I was excited and smiling when I told her however she did not share my excitement. She started crying! When I asked her what was wrong she said and I quote, “I want to have lunch with my friends.” Blah! I was R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D!!!!

My daughter is only five and she already picked her friends over me. That feeling sucked! But believe me I was NOT going to give up.

For the next several weeks I would remind her in several different ways how much I valued spending time with her and enjoyed her company and how special it was for me to hang out with her. I didn’t just say it, I showed her. To my surprise my wife tells me that my daughter told her that I was going to have lunch with her at school. I scheduled the lunch date immediately.

We had an amazing time. We chatted; laughed and played with the toy she received with her happy meal… it was a blast. It was special. I got to eat a double cheeseburger Most importantly, it was a reminder that the most important lunch meeting I could ever have is the one with my daughter. We should never be so busy to intentionally invest in the lives of our children. Sadly, I was the only dad out there.

Konnekt: Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, It’s A Partnership

Check out this talk I gave at Cornerstone Family Church titled “Konnekt.” I share thoughts from Reggie Joiner’s ‘Parenting Beyond Your Capacity’ on the importance of konnekting with students and partnering with parents. Let me know your thoughts.

I Have An Imaginary Friend Named Froggy

I feel almost silly posting this blog but yep, like the title suggests I do have an imaginary friend named Froggy. No, no, no… I know what you’re thinking; I’m a bit young for a mid-life crisis and I may be a tad crazy for working with teenagers but otherwise I am sane. Whoa, did you see that? The letters on this page are moving …just kidding. Trust me I’m normal, I think. Anyway… I don’t remember when my friendship with Froggy started however we do spend a lot of time together, almost every morning and occasionally in the afternoons.

I just reread the above paragraph and I have to admit is sounds a little creepy. Okay, real creepy, a grown man with an imaginary friend, yep there goes my creditability. However, what you did not know is that my five-year-old daughter had the privilege to introduce me to Froggy on our way to preschool one day. And well, we’ve been friends ever since.

See I decided to “increase the quantity of quality time” I spend with my daughter. Time is of the essences, its nothing but vapor, I will blink and she will be a teenager. I need to embrace every moment I get to invest in her life. Each day I have a 40 minute window of uninterrupted one on one time with my daughter as we drive to and from preschool, what better time to engage in a conversation. Even if it involves her, excuse me, our imaginary friend Froggy.

Those 40 minutes are truly precious to both of us. It is truly remarkable how engaging into the imaginary world of a preschooler adds value to our relationship. I allow her to steer the conversation yet it creates many opportunities for me to speak into her life. In the book “Parenting Beyond Your Capacity” Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof suggests creating an intentional rhythm in our families to impress our values and build the faith of our children. Carey notes, “These times give parents an opportunity to build a relationship through nonthreatening experiences. At some level the parent can actually function as a friend or companion and interpret life together with their children.”

Time in the car is a special bonding time for my daughter and I. We talk about her experience at school, how her day went, what she learned, we sing songs together and on almost every occasion I get the chance to influence her growing worldview. I call them God moments. And well, yeah, we even hang out with Froggy too and have a few laughs.

Call me crazy but maybe you can use an imaginary friend?

My First Post Rant of 2011

Okay, so I am guilty of neglecting this blog. Well, its been four months since my last post I’d have to say neglecting the site is an understatement—in fact, I’ve pretty much abandoned it. Not intentionally of course. I’m not sure if I should blame it on busyness or procrastination. Though I have been busy still, it’s probably the latter.

So here goes, my first rant of 2011: I got stuck in some containers while playing with my daughter, eh. A month ago I twisted my ankles shooting hoops with several of my student and well it still hurts, boo!! About a week ago I had the privilege to check out Chris August, Group 1 Crew and Toby Mac at a private concert for Youth Pastors. It was awesome and had a great time with my wife! Later that week our friends sent us a video where their four-year-old son declares his love for my five-year-old daughter. We have since ended that friendship. The other day I was stuck in traffic for over an hour, blah! Apparently a car caught on fire and the fire truck did too, no joke! I made it late to the doctor’s appointment. Oh and I have no AC in my hooptie so I walked into doc’s office looking like I just played several games of basketball. Talking about basketball, the Boston Celtics just swept the Knicks, boo-yah! LeBron, you couldn’t hold ‘em off in Cleveland doubt you can in Miami, Boston in 6. Orlando had no magic and lost to Atlanta, Atlanta? Can’t blame Howard if he wants to bounce—it was pathetic. People have been blown out of their homes in Alabama and the royal wedding is the number one trending topic, really? Well, that’s pathetic. What’s up with Donald Trump dropping F-Bombs? Presidential candidate? Nope! Well, after the last election, who knows? And why in the word has he jumped on the birther’s bandwagon? Are the ratings of his show that low? While I am not a fan of Obama he is an American Citizen dude, or is he? How in the word is Scotty McCreery still on American Idol yet Casey Abrams not to mention Pia Toscano voted off? I love Amazon’s new cloud player. It syncs lovely with my Android. Ahhhh yes Android… not only is it the number one mobile OS but it also happens to be preferred over the iPhone in the U.S mobile market. I think that deserves a booyah!

Enough of that, I promise the next post will be much more meaningful than this lazy cultural rant. Till then chau!